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Missed out on a promotion?

Missing out on a promotion is always a disappointment. In the wake of such a disappointment, how do you respond, and how does that serve you? Perhaps it knocks you back and you retreat, tail between your legs, telling yourself that it just wasn’t the right time or role, or you just don’t have what it takes. Perhaps you get busy, in the belief that doing more will get you promoted next time or, at the very least, distract you from your perceived failure. Both these reactions are very normal, but do they help you get what you want? Everyone faces setbacks and disappointments but how you respond determines what happens next. Instead of giving up or getting busy, get strategic.


Feel: Be self-aware. Acknowledge the range of feelings that come up in response to not getting what you wanted or hoped for and observe how it makes your respond. What does it make you think and do? Placing this space between your reaction and your action can allow for a more intentional and constructive response. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up but keep it in perspective and don’t let it drive you to act impulsively, emotionally or reflexively.


Act: Once you have regrouped and recentered, seek feedback. If possible, talk to the decision-makers themselves. It can be easy to make assumptions about why you didn’t get the promotion, but instead, seek clear and specific feedback. Prepare yourself to receive that feedback well – listen carefully, seek clarification if needed but avoid getting defensive. Sometimes missed promotions are more about how we do things rather than what we do, and this can be hard to hear. Try to remember that this is an opportunity to grow and learn and ultimately get you where you want to be. 

Once you know what you need to work on, seek out opportunities to develop these skills. What do you need to do more or less of? Remember this may be about soft skills too. What does this look like in your day-to-day work? Who might you enlist to help you make these changes or give you some ongoing constructive feedback? You might feel vulnerable inviting such feedback, but it can help you develop, keep you focused and show your commitment to making the necessary changes.


Reframe and reset: Take the opportunity to reassess. Look for positives in the situation you find yourself in. What you get out of your existing position? How you can grow and develop from the feedback you’ve received? Can you find ways to enjoy developing these new skills? Congratulate yourself for handling the experience constructively and reflect on what you have learnt. Perhaps set yourself some new goals and celebrate your success as you meet them. Not only will you feel better responding in this way, but it is also an indicator to others of your self-awareness, temperament, character and resilience.


An executive coach can really help you work through each stage and make the development more sustainable and more enjoyable. And many employers are seeing the value of coaching support now too, so why not ask and see if is available for you?


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By Julie Horne January 27, 2023
Ever wondered how much influence leaders really have on the culture and behaviours in their organisations? And does that ‘values’ statement really mean anything in the day to day of life? I was thinking about this as I returned from another glorious Glastonbury festival this week full of the great sounds, sights, and experiences that only the Worlds best festival can give you. No mud this year, but as always, great music, entertainment, and people. It’s a miracle to me how 200,000 people (the equivalent to a city like Bath) can descend on some fields in Somerset for 5 days without major incident or chaos ensuing. Sure, there is a massive amount of organization, but there is also a very strong cultural ethos that guides the way we behave together. The founder and leader, Michael Eaves, is very open about his values and they are embodied in his love of the creative arts, music, politics and environmental causes. Here are some of his values I am very aware of every time I go to Glastonbury: Choose Love: ‘Consider each other and Move as one’ Love the Farm, Leave no trace Express yourself in positive ways Keep an open mind to experience and difference Detox – give yourself some time off for self-expression and fun In addition, he supports charities that reflect these values (Oxfam, Wateraid, and Green Peace) and encourages us all to support them too. You cannot help but be guided by these values and it gives the festival a unique vibe quite different to any other. What are your values? and how do they show up in your organisation?
By Julie Horne January 12, 2023
In the last twelve months we’ve all become used to working through video conferencing platforms. While this has no doubt presented challenges - communication tactics that work well among colleagues in a conference room may not translate seamlessly to squares on a computer screen – here I talk about how you can take advantage of this medium to improve your executive presence. Be aware of things that may distract you from being who you want to be Having executive presence is about inspiring confidence – in those you lead, work with or are led by. If there are things about the virtual environment that are knocking you off balance, identify them and address them. Do you hate seeing yourself all the time? Place a sticky note over your own image or turn off self-view. Perhaps you find a screen full of faces in small boxes off putting. Use speaker view instead of gallery view or shrink the screen so you see fewer faces. Do you get flustered by technical glitches? Make sure you know how to use all the tools in advance and if things do go wrong – technical glitches happen that may be out of your control – model how to stay calm and grounded and maintain your presence. Do you get easily distracted by other things like your email or your phone? Remove distractions, notifications, and shut other tabs and documents and turn your phone over. In this way, the virtual space provides a great opportunity to understand and address environmental factors that may undermine your ability to have executive presence. Record calls and play them back to get valuable feedback on your presence One thing the virtual environment gives you is the opportunity to observe yourself in a way that you rarely can in face-to-face gatherings. Watching a recording of yourself lead a meeting or have a conversation is an excellent way of seeing the things you do (or don’t do) that contribute to your executive presence. Identify opportunities when you can record a call, ask permission of participants to do so and then watch it back. Keep an eye out for some of the classics that contribute to (or detract from) executive presence - hand gestures; space fillers (ums and ahs); shuffling papers or fiddling with your hair – or any others you spot. Also look out for phrases you use that diminish you, such as apologizing or deferring to others. There’s perhaps no better way to get a clear picture of how you come across; ask yourself, am I inspiring confidence? Hone your communication skills Even if seated, take the opportunity to think about how your posture affects your presentation. Do you lean forward, or sit back? How are you framed on the screen? Try standing up to project greater confidence. Without as much body language (your own or others) to support you, other communication skills become even more important. How do you use facial expressions to make it easier for others to read you in the absence of body language? Do you make eye contact (this takes some getting used to in video calls as it involves looking at the camera on your computer not at the faces)? Speaking to a computer screen can make us rush through what we are saying. Remember to speak at a moderate pace, slowing or speeding up for effect and using pauses to keep people’s attention. Radiate confidence by speaking in a loud, clear voice. How can you be an effective listener in the virtual environment? Lags in connection, time to unmute or simply hesitation to speak when you can’t read the group can mean delays in people speaking and then being spoken over or missed. You may need to allow more time for people to respond and be heard. So, this strange virtual communication time is also presenting new opportunities to observe and build your self-awareness of how you exude executive presence. New skills developed this way will also be invaluable when you return to in-person meetings.
By Julie Horne March 12, 2019
Have you ever had the feeling that you are in a role that doesn’t challenge you? You know the feeling…. Bored of going to work, think the boss isn’t half as good as you, getting frustrated with things that don’t go your way? As you lose motivation there is a danger of spiraling down into strained relationships and declining performance. Not a great place to find your next leadership role. Well maybe its time to pause and reflect on what your key strengths really are, and how others experience you in the workplace. A client of mine, Edith, came to me expressing many of these frustrations. She’s a qualified and experienced accountant and was working in the Charity sector as a part-time finance manager. Her relationships with the CEO and some of the Board trustees were becoming difficult and it seemed that her ideas and strategic thinking were not well received. As a result she was losing confidence at her ability to communicate well and perform at senior levels. To start our work I asked Edith to complete a Myers-Briggs Questionnaire so that she could develop greater awareness of her own personality preferences. We looked at the Personal Impact Report together and identified her key strengths of when she was operating at her best. She was also then able to see how her communication style may be causing friction in her work relationships. During our conversations Edith began to realize that she could adjust and flex her style for better results but that fundamentally she should start to harness her considerable strengths into a role that would make better use of them. A few months later and Edith has a new role as a full-time Finance Director. She has a team and budget to manage and is heavily involved with the CEO and Board of Trustees in developing the new 5-year strategy. It’s a satisfying and challenging role and Edith has learnt how to work in a more consultative and supportive way so that her ideas are heard and acted upon in the Boardroom. In a short time Edith has learned some simple techniques and behaviours that have been transformational for her on her leadership journey. If you are feeling under-utilised at work but unsure if you have the leadership skills for a more senior role then take some time to reflect on your personal development. It may be time to rethink everything you've ever learned about how to succeed in your professional life.
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